ABC/Randy HolmesParamore‘s new album After Laughter is full of bright, colorful, ’80s-inspired sounds — but it hasn’t always been easy for frontwoman Hayley Williams to feel bright and happy. In an interview with The Fader, she reveals that she’s been struggling with depression in recent years.
“For the first time in my life, there wasn’t a pinhole of light at the end of the tunnel,” says Williams. “I thought, ‘I just wish everything would stop.’ It wasn’t in the sense of, ‘I’m going to take my life.’ It was just hopelessness. Like, ‘What’s the point?'”
“I don’t think I understood how dangerous hopelessness is,” she continues. “Everything hurts.”
Those feelings even caused Williams to quit Paramore during the summer of 2015.
“I just was done,” she says. “I thought, ‘There’s gotta be something else that I’m good at in my life. Maybe it’s time for me to go find that.'”
During that time, Williams’ band mate Taylor York, who’s also struggled with depression, continued to work on music and send her unfinished tracks.
“We both had doubts, and we had unity in that,” York says. “I told her she didn’t have to do stuff. But I just kept writing, and then there was this time that she got it again.”
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